GRINCH BUSTED, CHRISTMAS SAVED

BY RAY VAN COR

The Greenville Standard

 

Last Wednesday afternoon at approximately 2 p.m. the world’s most notorious lime green furry felon, AKA the Grinch, was apprehended downtown Georgiana by the Butler County Sheriff’s Department and Georgiana Police Department.

A short standoff in sued, but Sheriff’s deputies and Georgiana police officers stormed the premises, thrashed the greasy thing and took him into custody.

Law enforcement officials around the globe have been on high alert and had a “BOLO,” Be on Look Out, for the nasty cuss named the Grinch who is notorious for stealing Christmas.

The thieving felonious fur ball was cuffed, stuffed and carted off to the Butler County Jail and held without bond awaiting extradition by world law enforcement officials.

The offender was overheard proclaiming his innocence stating it was a case of mistaken identity, and yet officers found a Vile Mean and Nasty membership photo ID card in his possession.

He was processed and formally charged with felony theft in the first degree and felony uglying up the streets of Butler County in the first degree.

Sources said he would receive a good hosing down and given a needed flea and tick delousing, then put away in solitary confinement.

Sheriff Danny Bond said, “It was a great coordinated effort by all law enforcement personnel, but the main thing is Christmas has been saved! On behalf of the Butler County Sheriff’s Department and law enforcement everywhere, Merry Christmas!”